The Gift of Disillusionment

I hope you enjoy this article and find it helpful.

You may be expecting me to write about the holidays. Don't worry, I'll get to them! If you are new to my writing, allow me to clue you in: my method is to use the back door, so to speak, to your Right Mind. So it may appear as if I meander in my writing, but see if you don't learn something you wouldn't have otherwise.

Ego minds have a story. (FYI: if you were born, you have an ego mind). This "story" has a life, a voice of its own. You could put the following nouns in front of story: money, health, relationship, and family--and be tempted to believe that each is a "different" story, separate from the other stories.  All of our stories are the same. Yes, the form is different, but they are all about our past.

I invite you to write down your money story. Now or later, but take a few moments to actually do it! What does money mean to you? How do you relate to money? How do you find yourself thinking of money? Do you have enough money? Just for now, or for the future? Don't know? What about fear and money? Sometimes? Mostly? Frustrated?

Teaching Sustainable Prosperity means I work with clients on their story. I show them how the form of the story appears different in various parts of their life, but is all connected to the same source in their ego mind.

What is wrong with having a story? It only reflects the smaller part of you--the part that is identified with the roles or jobs that you do, or things that you have. It is not in fact, the Real You. Our entire story is about what happened in our past. In other words, it isn't happening NOW! The past isn't a place you can inhabit anywhere except in your mind--but nonetheless we keep trying to visit our past via memories. Sometimes we propel our selves into the fearful future.  Mentally visiting the past or future--prevents us from being here in the present moment. It is in the present moment, and only the present moment, that we can experience the essence of Who We Really Are and Who We Have Come Here To Be. Our story separates us from that and ultimately from enjoyment, prosperity, peace and happiness.

Do you think you are in the present moment--NOW? Let me ask you this: how do you test this is true? Really, what way do you have of knowing?

Ego minds create stories about every aspect of life--money stories, health stories, relationship stories,  family stories....

When our preference for situations, circumstances, or relationships doesn't materialize in the way we thought they should, we become disillusioned.  We can either begin another page in the story; or realize the upside of the disillusionment. Disillusionment is born out of attachment to an outcome, and wanting things being a certain way. In our story, it is "good" to have things be the way we want them to be. We believe our happiness hinges upon our idea of what "good" looks like. Liking our story is where we let our "good" get in the way of our better. I'll say that again: We  let  our  good  get  in  the  way  of  our  better.

Tom has been a client for 3 years. He runs his own business, loves it, and has created a joyous life. Like those of us who practice Sustainable Prosperity, Tom isn't sucked into "how bad this economy is": he doesn't make it part of his story. Tom also uses the tools I have shown him and practices awareness to detect a story.

What you should really know about Tom: 3 years ago he was laid off from his job of 26 years. Nothing was to his liking, the chess pieces of his life had been moved-without his consent and he was understandably angry. So Tom's ego mind did what ego's do: made a story about what "good" would look like. His "good story" was getting a new job that hopefully paid as much as the old job, had a reasonable commute, and his not needing to tell his kids about the job loss.

Tom was okay with his old job. It wasn't great and it wasn't terrible. When I did a money assessment and a value assessment with him, I could see the job that he lost was not supporting him or his family in living the life they desired. Tom showed me what he loved to do. I could see the love, talent and the passion he had for it. Why then you may wonder, was he looking for another job just like the one he had lost? Yes, you guessed it--because it was what his story said would be "good".

How did Tom make the leap from that old "good" story to the life he loves today? He stopped mixing his desire for money with the other toxic thoughts that defeat the purpose of money in your life.

I have heard some folks say that desire is wrong and that it creates selfishness and the like. While that can happen for untrained minds, I am not going to tell you desire is wrong. In fact, it is powerful! When used to support the creation of your life in its pure form, desire is like adding rocket fuel to the gas tank of your life.

Unfortunately, just like Tom was doing, we mix this rocket fuel of desire with other ingredients that are toxic and are in opposition to our desire. So what are some of these other ingredients?

*Thinking we know how something could be or should be

*Using our story telling past as a guide and decision maker in the present

*Telling the future with our story-telling past 

Let me help you bust yourself on this:
When was the last time you were right about your projection of how things were going to turn out? Ummmm, never? Today, are you where you thought you'd be 5 years ago, or even 2 years ago? Look at your life for a moment. How'd you get here?

Claire is a 40-something mom and artist. She is positive that her children and husband do not support her. While that is true on one level; she behaves in ways that prevent them from supporting her--and then Claire sees the self-fulfilling prophecy come true. Anyone outside of her mind can see how she makes this happen, and can read her "story". Claire tells her story, and the story always has the same underlying misery of invalidation, disempowerment and victimhood. Claire is a genuinely nice person. She is respectful, intelligent and I suspect the art she makes now is but a shadow of what she could create were she standing in her own glory.

I asked Claire who she would be if she let that story go. If she didn't see herself as marginalized, disrespected, and undervalued.

Like anyone else who has been asked to relinquish the very thing they are so attached to, Claire said she had no idea. She had not ever thought about it. Who she would be without that agony? What a concept! Claire began to brainstorm out loud, excitedly, about what she would be doing, and how different her life would look--for about 15 seconds. Then, the ego mind jumps up and says 'it could never happen" asserting that "the others will never let me."  That is okay. Those 15 seconds of desire have already done its job. Claire will never be the same, slowly or quickly that part of her - the desire to be in harmony with creativity, the desire to be in alignment with what feels right and true and good can never be stamped out.

The Universal DNA is always one of growth and is always pushing us on to our greater good. Our way of seeing things never changes this fact. Our willingness is all the Universe requires. We don't have to have a plan or know how it will be done--we just need to say "Yes! " Tom said "Yes" and then the plan was made. Claire is working on her "Yes".

I ask myself what I am willing to say "yes" to this holiday season. I ask you to ask the same question of yourself.

You may be thinking, "Yea, but she doesn't know what is going on in my life." Trust me when I say that while the details may be uniquely yours, I do know. Like all of you, I have enough stories about my story. I have told them, again and again. I practice giving up my story because I got sick of my story. (I will go so far as to say that for some of my readers, your story makes you sick). Thank you, God, for helping me to be sick of my story.

When I am tempted to my story, or cling to my story, it doesn't last too long. That is the gift of disillusionment-- knowing that I have a desire to be who I really am. 

Gratefully, I set my story aside because I know it isn't real at the deepest level and that it only serves to keep me limited. Some stories I am tempted to embrace more often--like the one about being a parent of a child who is multiply handicapped which limits him, me, and our whole family. I got tired of a major part of that story and took him to Europe for two weeks--no nanny and no exit strategy!

My egoic mind created tons of mental chatter about "what if" this happened, or that. The worst was "what if he got sick?" That one almost makes me stop breathing. Of course, the story embellishes to not being able to find a doctor or hospital, and worse yet, none of the medicine he'd need would be available. To top it all off, everyone would be looking at me like I am a crazy woman (which I would be!)

Guess what?  We had such a blast! Who knew he loved Gaudi and Dali? So we are going back, again and again. Thank you, God, for the desire to give up that story!

Guess what else? He did get sick! And you know what? The doctor came to the hotel. And you know what else? It was easy to get the medicine he needed.  Plus it came in a form that was the easiest to give my son that I had ever experienced!! Two days later-- we were on the train to Valencia--just us, no story! We already had enough bags to cart around.

In the Archetypal construct of our collective unconscious, there are powerful stories for us to know and hear again and again. These Archetypal stories are our story, and we should take them personally.  I am not speaking of a religion here, I am speaking metaphysically. (Meta from the Greek meaning: beyond or after, and physical meaning: what you can see, touch, hear and taste.)

How is the two-thousand year old story of a baby born to meager and humble circumstances, who, as an adult, influences humanity like our story? How is the story of lamps that remain lit well beyond the time the oil has run out like our story?

They are all stories of illusion. The story is never the story we think it is. What we see happening with our physical senses is morphed and distorted when it becomes part of our story. At Jesus birth, no one would have bet two denarius on the scope of his influence with humanity.
No one would have given a shekel for those lamps to continue burning. After all, there is only “so much” of something and then—it is gone: right?

Wrong! Something bigger and far better is on the other side of the illusion. You’re better. But we are so focused on our 'good' in the illusion we fall asleep to the possibility of  our better. I’ll repeat that: we are so busy trying to make our good happen that we miss our better.

From a client:
“BTW:  When we spoke last I said something about your being good at connecting the dots for people...actually what you excel at doing is showing them the dots they don't see so they can connect them. “

If you did write down your money story, I hope my meandering was able to show you your dots:  see some of your story, defined as “good”, or “should” that is standing in the way of your better.

Are you resisting letting go of what you think is your 'good?' Of being disillusioned because things are not the way they 'should' be?

Are people not acting like you want them to?

Is something  happening in your life that you want to be different?

If you are getting sick of your story: good for you!

My “Yes” this holiday season is to the present moment--whatever it is. Happy folks, sad folks, whiny folks. Great food, okay food, fat food. You get my drift—no pages added to the story.

Gift  yourself  with  the  present  moment!  

Be aware of your story. Let the energy of the season lift you above and beyond your story.

However you celebrate this time of year....

May you relinquish your story.

May you be blessed with Peace.

Happy Holidays,

Karen