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Moth to the Flame of Drama?

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

At a recent event there were drama queens at the next table. They were loud, flirting with the inappropriate– but mostly they were vampires. I could hear the sucking sound of the energy of others as it left their bodies and was fed upon by these energy vampires.

Observing the moths to flame at my table, it occurred to me that every person at my table thought of themselves as cultivating a spiritual practice. Yet, not one of them would define their attention to the queens as drama in and of itself.

If you are wondering how I know, I asked them. When I asked them if they thought of themselves as moths to flame, the unanimous “Oh! My! God!” interrupted the queen’s latest drama.

How is it possible that we can be living a conscious life, improving on it day by day and still get sucked into drama?

Here’s what I came up with:

1.     You don’t think you do drama, so you don’t even watch for it

2.    You compare yourself to other drama queens and think, “I’m not at all like them.”

3.     Not enough vigilance toward that sucking of energy feeling (which each person at the table could articulate within their bodies-usually the sternum or the neck)

4.   Not understanding you can just say no to it.

Backlash came at number 4. “How can we say no to something we can’t control-other people?” they all cried.

I asked them to watch for a moment as I experimented. I went over to the next table and after about 3 minutes of friendly conversation, I learned there were two getting a divorce, four with children in college, and their word for their time together was ‘fun.’

I asked them if they thought they were disturbing the tables around them with their ‘fun.’ “Oh, we are always loud –every time we get together.” Was the answer. “How wonderful you have fun, but I asked if you thought you might be disturbing the tables around you.”

Silence. I looked from person to person at the table, making eye contact, looking for the spokes-person (every tribe has one).

Then, the spokes person began apologizing to me. I kindly stopped her and said I was doing some research. And I really, really wondered if they could help me out:  each person answer the question, “do you think you are disturbing the tables around you?”

Their unanimous answer: Yes. They knew coming into the event they would be having ‘fun’ and their fun ‘spills’ over. I asked knowing about the spill-over effect, why did they do it anyway? “Because no one has ever said a thing to us.”

I want you to let that sink in a moment. “Because no one has ever said a thing to us.”

Then I asked if they knew any drama queens. Naturally, the drama started again while they recited everyone they knew. Not one person they mentioned was seated at the table with them.

Clearly these people lie to themselves. Just like you and I do. The difference is just in degrees. It’s easy for me and my tribe to see the drama of the ostentatious queens. Just like it was easy for the queens to name other more ostentatious drama queens.

None of us think we do drama. I want you to let that sink in a moment.

You know drama queens, but you do not do drama. How is this possible?

You can only be a moth to the flame of drama, if in fact you do drama. It has to be in you to see it in others.

Everything is my teacher-including drama and drama queens. Being a good student means I’m willing to see my own drama. The more I say no to drama-the more I see!

This is one of my stand-by practices: mapping. You can map anything, and in this case it’s drama. Keep a punch list of each time you saw drama around you, and each time you caught yourself in drama. Do this for just 7 days, you’ll see what I mean.

The point of this practice? Drama is an energy leak. You play a part assigned to you mostly by another, on a dimly lit stage. Plug the energy leak and you choose the roles in which Spirit shines through -on a brightly list stage.

If all you can do is map the times you were a moth to flame (TV is especially good at this sucking energy) you’ll be more peaceful and powerful in this world of form.

I promise you, on a pile of burnt moth wings.

If you are ostentatious enough to map for 7 days, I’d love for you to email me your epiphanies.

Hey! Drama Queens-will you share the love? Pick a button below! Thank you!