I think that saying goes against the training and default settings most folks have. We spend soooo much time fixated on other’s opinions of us. As a psychologist I teach folks what others think and say and do, has much more to do with them than you.
Say it to yourself a few times, “what others think of me is none of my business”. Do you notice how much freedom you feel when you say it? I mean of course, before monkey mind jumps in and tells you that you can’t think that.
Monkey mind loves us to believe we are in control of what others think of us. I bet if you scan your memory you will have times where you worked very hard and someone was still not happy with you. You thought and thought, “What did I do wrong”. Maybe you even defended and justified everything you did, going over the reasons why like beads on a rosary.
Business, especially if you are self-employed worry about how to “win trust” and “build a reputation”. This a huge energy leak.
The fact is all the cajoling, marketing and sharing you do about your product and what you have to offer is most likely not a match for who you Really Are. Think about it, most folks do not know about marketing so they try to learn. Using a formula or following the “marketing rules” they often find themselves frustrated at their lack of profitability. Working in force mode is frustrating, and unrewarding. Even if you do have success—in your gut you know it is not sustainable.
Sustainability taps into your Being– Who you Really Are. Of course aligning with the Universe, getting out of your own way and working with the Power of the Universe creates flow. You work hard, but it doesn’t feel like work.
The way is always hard when we are not connected to our heart
Spending time, effort and your precious life force doing something the universe is telling you (by your struggle, lack of progress in proportion to your effort) to go another way is a set-up for pain, worry and frustration.
I have a client who had many marketing plans and business plans. They were all tactically and technically “correct”. But after working and building his business –taking two steps forward and two steps back; struggling month to month he had to admit he was miserable and his business was mediocre. Of course he was upset and confused, who wouldn’t be? Worse, what other people would think of him was the thought that kept him from quitting for years. “What have I done wrong?” he wanted to know.
I had listened to him for some time. Offering comfort and understanding as he carefully explained the brilliance of each of his plans. Why they should have worked, how he did all the right things. It was heart breaking. He asked me again, “what did I do wrong?”
I took a breath, asked spirit to give me just the right words, “The only reason you engaged in this business was to make money. Your heart is somewhere else. A human divided against himself can not sustain”. And I added, “what has kept you miserable is not listening to your wisdom, but your concern about what others think of you”.
What other people think of you is none of your business. Say it a few times and see if you can feel a little freer to take a step in the direction of your heart.
